Marianne – The French Horror Flick that brought exorcisms back on the table

OMG! I binge watched “Marianne” today and it was freaking scary. Perfect for the upcoming Halloween! I’m talking really scary due to the well used horror tropes:

  • elderly possessed woman (like The Skeleton Key)
  • Creepy children
  • Scary dreams
  • Demons!
  • Falling teeth
  • one hanged woman
  • Slowly walking bloodied bodies

I think what really got me was the scenes with the old woman (Marianne) who is definitely crazy but the way she takes out her own tooth with a knife and then saws off a hand using a kitchen knife was out of this world. Add in some people walking up from the waves – and you have yourself a good horror.

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“Us” – or WTF did I just watch during weekly horror movie night?

Having seen Jordan Peele’s “Get Out”, I was expecting another amazing thriller filled with a good twist, loads of humour and a good scare. What I got instead was an artsy attempt filled with too many rabbits and overlay chorus.

This review contains spoilers so if you want to watch the movie, don’t read on.

The Wilsons’ doppelgängers first appear on their driveway in the same order as the stick family decal on the back of their car.

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The Haunting of Hill House or a series more about mental illness than about ghosts

This is our forever house. It always was. Nothing bad will ever touch them ever again.
Nothing good will, either.

I saw something new on my Netflix list – a series with a title similar to one of the most horrifying horror books I’ve ever laid my hands on. And since it’s October and Spookfest is on, I decided to give it a try. I was instantly hooked. I binge-watched the show in a day and a bit and I wanted to see if anyone else noted the mix of reality, visions and hallucinations in the series. The story is told from the POV of everyone involved and as opposed to the book, the series starts with the death of one of the family and then flashes back to the events leading up to that point. Continue reading “The Haunting of Hill House or a series more about mental illness than about ghosts”

Hereditary or the movie about Cultist Grandma

I refuse to watch any trailers. I think nowadays, 90% of the plot is given away in 2 minutes in a desperate attempt to draw in audiences. But when I saw that a new movie was called as good  as the classic Exorcist and Rosemary’s baby (which are excellent in my opinion), I wanted to watch it. When I heard that people deemed it gruesome enough to linger at the edges of their conscience for a long time, I really wanted to see it.

Hereditary-Film-.jpg

What followed next was 2h 7min of horror and 10 minutes of crap. Don’t get me wrong, the movie was really good. The ending was shit though so if you want to have a really great experience, walk out 10 minutes before the end and make up your own ending. It’ll be 10 times better than what we’ve been given.

The rest of this piece contains spoilers and only spoilers. Do not read unless you want to know what happened.

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Penny Dreadful Comics

I’ve ran across these as it has nearly been 6 months since I’ve seen the last of the show and I’m going through some Supernatural & Penny Dreadful withdrawal. I loved the speeches, Penny dreadful – My Scars are my own and Penny Dreadful season 3 ep 1 – Best character description ever and when I saw the comics, I wanted to share a few lovely shots of the lot with you.

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The Equalizer vs. The Guest

So I heard you like action movies? I see you nod your head. I hear you also liked hard-core men that know how to fire a gun and don’t look like a pussy when doing it. You’re still nodding. I heard that you like cold-blooded psychopaths with a tendency for paranoia and a lack of empathy that only need a reason to unfold their sadistic desires – and that reason may well be gone by the time they are doing it. You are looking confused now.

I have seen two movies recently, one with Denzel Washington called The Equalizer, where a former special ops who is working at “Home Depot” decides to be a killing machine (*cough*) – I didn’t mean that – Decides to make the world he is living in a little better because he can.

The-Equalizer-Denzel-WashingtonI should have known he was not truely sane when he folded his tea bag in a napkin and then he went to a cafe at 2 in the morning to drink it – every night. His reading habit pleased me and so did the reason behind it – his late wife wanted to read the best 100 books before she died but she only made it to 91. His obsessive nature can be seen as he sits down, puts the book to his left, picks up the fork and puts it aside, picks up the knife and puts it aside, picks up the napkin and the spoon and pushes them under the book, spoon face down – until the tea comes. When I first saw this scene I was thinking “OCD, OCD, OCD!” 🙂

chloe-grace-moretz-equalizer-3Now he is a nice guy. He likes this lovely girl, who just happens to be a prostitute, but not because she wants to – because she is made to by her Russian pimp. She is a sweet girl and when she starts showing up with bruises and then gets sent to the ICU with a massive beating, he goes to see the Russian pimp – who is in fact the head of the Russian Mob operations for that part of America (how convenient).

He offers to buy her freedom for a weird amount (9800$) which makes me think this is all the cash he had.

The pimp refuses (obviously a good whore can bring more than that in her lifetime – so why sell a good asset?) so our guy goes into this trance (very very similar to Sherlock Holmes) where he sees everything in great detail and then within 30 seconds delivers death to all the men in that room. He is fast, he is accurate, every blow he strikes is meant for the kill. He is the most efficient killer I have seen on screen. And the only one to kill with a corkscrew. The Russians immediately send in their best man – I loved this guy too! He is there to fix things when they go wrong. And man, he can fix things!!

I only wished they used Kevin Spacey for his role. He would have been perfect. This guy was only a 9/10. He managed to deliver a very good performance. The tension in the cinema when he killed this ho was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. The fact that he did it on The Swan Lake tune just made it better.

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To summarize it – Bob (Denzel) calls in his connections at Washington to find out who he’s dealing with and then goes on to bring down their entire operation. He spares a few lives (the detective) just so that people won’t take him as the next Dexter. But everyone else dies. He even kills his arch-nemesis with a nail gun – and I saw him use a broken mirror for another dude.

All ends well though – the girl he was trying to help got better, got a job, found 9800$ on her bed when she woke up. He is living as normal.

What they don’t account for is the media response… there is no report of what the people at Home Depot did AFTER they found out they had a ruthless killer among them. Or what his neighbours did. He should have become a local celebrity after this. eh, sometimes you don’t have to wish for a perfect ending.

You asked me what do I see when I look at you. It’s what you see when you look at me.

The Guest

The second psychopath comes from The Guest, played by Dan Stevens.

THE GUESTFirst off, he is gorgeous! Even my gay friend was like “I would like him to kill me every day! With his blue eyes!” 

theguest2This is the story of a grieving family who have lost their son at war and receive an unexpected visit from an old friend of his who just got discharged. They are so stupid and do not check his credentials or his background (well, they do, but by then it’s too late) and they let this virtually unknown man stay in their house.

He starts off saying that he will stay only a day or two, but the time seems to get longer and he gets involved in family affairs. He finds out that the boy is bullied and goes to his school to pick him up, finds out who the bullies were and kicks the shit out of them in a local bar. I loved it!!! As a survivor of high-school bullying I wish I had a psycho like this to help out.

The girl kinda falls for him – possibly after seeing him come out of the shower.

THE GUEST

He plays it cool but there are a few hints that he is not completely normal.

  1. The smile never really reaches his eyes
  2. He does not blink often
  3. His face fell when he was told that the girl called his base to find out who he was – I really saw the bad guy for a split second
  4. He does not seem to sleep
  5. He carries a knife with him and then gives it to the boy
  6. He instructs the boy that if he gets bullied again, visit the bully’s house, kill his family and burn the place down…

As expected, the military finds out where he was and sends men after him. We find out that he’s a failed experiment, escaped from the army bases and that he is literally a killing machine, hell bent on keeping himself alive and killing off all loose ends. And he starts off by killing the mother with a kitchen knife, the dad in a car crash, his gf in a restaurant bombing and then he goes after the boy & girl at the local school. This is when the movie gets really bad – acting wise. I was laughing at how bad it was. Up to this point it was acceptable even good in areas, but the ending – OMG! Totally predictable. The girl and boy shoot him dead and him dying was the worst acted dying scene in the history of movies. Well, not the worst, this guy is the worst:

Kareteci Kiz (English: “Karate Girl”) is a 1973 Turkish film.Go to 1:40 🙂

 

 

 

American Horror Story (Coven) – Must watch

I’ve been a huge fan of American Horror Story ever since it first came out a few years back and I loved Season 1 so much, I recommended it to all my friends and re-watched again the following Halloween.

When season 2 came out (Asylum) – I was not sure what I was expecting – maybe a continuation of the love story between Lily and Tate but the result was disappointing. The nuns, the psych ward, the alien abduction, the hidden serial killer ( 🙂 Zachary Quinto is the best! ) and the slightly controversial lesbian and inter-racial marriage themes – made it a bit hard to digest. It was not as fun and not as smart as the first season and there were a couple of moments when I felt like abandoning it like I did with Supernatural mid-season-8.

I lived through it and I almost forgot about it until this week when I saw that a new season came out – American Horror Story – Coven – this time with witches as the central theme. I was skeptical. What could they have done this season that would make it work? So I watched the first two episodes today and I was amazed. It was smart, it was catchy and as always, Lily Rabe was amazing. She always portrays her characters with such a passion and the southern twang is her key note.

I loved it.

It works on the premises that the witch gene is passed out through generations and even though sometimes it skips, it can manifest itself in girls (and apparently boys) when coming of age. The sex scene where Zoe becomes a black widow and kills her partner is one of the opening scenes and it’s hot (Game of Thrones hot!). She gets sent out to a boarding school for “Talented ladies” where she meets three other girls with special gifts – clairvoyance, a human voodoo doll and telekinesis. On a night out, the hot one gets drugged and gang raped by some frat boys (strong scene – beware the weak of heart)  and the other one falls in love with this cute freshman (Evan Peters). In the fight that follows, the boys run in a bus and drive off and the hot one comes and with a flick of her wrist turns over the bus and kills most except two which were in critical condition. The new love interest dies (and is split into many pieces as we later found out).

They do a spell to bring him back to life and the spell attracts a wandering witch with the ability to restore life. She is now nursing him back to health.

Oh – and there is a side plot about the search for eternal life and youth and the curse it contains.

For anyone who has read the “Mayfair witches” by Anne Rice – this is a definite must see. You can see New Orleans in the shoots, see the bayou and see the coven be created.

Below are a few promotional stills. Enjoy!