10 funny software puns that will get any developer chuckling (or cringing)

  1. Why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
  2. I got fired from my job as a software engineer. I just couldn’t get with the program.
  3. Old programmers never die, they just can’t C as well.
  4. When computer programmers are hungry they take mega-bites.
  5. Old programmers never die .. they just lose their memory.
  6. Technically speaking a programmer’s favorite subject with his boss is usually arrays.
  7. A crazy programmer with a cold is a coughing hacker.
  8. A computer program attached to an electric chair would have to have its execution checked carefully.
  9. Computer geeks always look scruffy because they only take milliseconds to refresh.
  10. Computer programs for gambling need beta testing.

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Tell-tell signs you’re secretly a cat person

You know you’re a cat person when…

https_%2F%2Fs-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com%2F564x%2F15%2F86%2F56%2F1586568ffb42503349eca9fb7729107e.jpg…you refer to going to the bathroom as “using the litter box.”

…you do not consider an outfit complete without some cat hair.

…you consider cat hair in your food as extra fiber.

…you apologize when you step on a fuzzy cat toy in the dark. Continue reading “Tell-tell signs you’re secretly a cat person”

20 very annoying things you can do in the office

  1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  2. https_%2F%2Fwww.roberthalf.ca%2Fsites%2Froberthalf.ca%2Ffiles%2Fannoying-coworker-cartoon-at-02-08-2017-2017.jpg
  3. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.)
  4. Insist that your e-mail address be xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com or elvis-the-king@companyname.com.
  5. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
  6. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
  7. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it ‘IN.’
  8. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
  9. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
  10. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favours”http_%2F%2Fgettoworkblog.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F10%2Fannoying-coworker.gif
  11. Reply to everything someone says with, “That’s what you think.”
  12. Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”
  13. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
  14. Don’t use any punctuation
  15. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.https_%2F%2Fmemoriesandsuch.files.wordpress.com%2F2015%2F02%2Fcd676-6a00d8341c5cc553ef01127945cb2328a4-320wi.jpg
  16. Ask people what sex they are.
  17. Specify that your drive through order is “to go.”
  18. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
  19. http_%2F%2Flowres.cartoonstock.com%2Foffice-bugging-annoy-annoyance-bug-bad_attitude-bmun74_low.jpg
  20. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you’re doing. For example: “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.”
  21. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.http_%2F%2Fwww.glasbergen.com%2Fwp-content%2Fgallery%2Fgoldie%2Fgoldie84.gif
  22. Five days in advance tell your co-workers you can’t attend the social event because you’re not in the mood.

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Loads and loads of terrible Star Wars Jokes

Q: Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns?
A: So it doesn’t Hang Solow!

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Q: What program do Jedi use to view PDF files?
A: Adobe Wan Kenobi

Q: What do you call a Mexican jedi?
A: Obi-Juan Kenobi

Q: What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets?
A: Wookieeleaks

Q: What do you call a Jedi in denial?
A: Obi-Wan Cannot Be
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Q: Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing?
A: At the Darth Maul

Q: Why did the angry Jedi cross the road?
A: To get to the Dark Side.

Q: What do you call stormtroopers playing Monopoly?
A: Game of Clones

Q: What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?
A: Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

Q: What do you call a Sith who won’t fight?
A: A Sithy
Continue reading “Loads and loads of terrible Star Wars Jokes”