Posts Tagged: doctor

Doctor, Doctor Jokes

Patient: Doctor, you’ve gotta help me. I eat apples, apples later come out into the toilet. I eat bananas, bananas come out.” Doctor: That’s easy. Eat shit. Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I broke my arm in two places! Doctor: Stay out of them places! Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do? Dentist: Wear… Read more »

Doctor Jokes * What a way to start the day!

“I can’t find a cause for your illness,” the doctor said. “Frankly, I think it’s due to drinking.” “In that case,” replied his patient, “I’ll come back when you are sober.”

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Scooby dooby dooby * Joke

A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargements. He told her, “Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the top of your nipples and say, ‘Scooby dooby dooby, I want bigger boobies.’ ” She did this every day faithfully. After several months, it worked! She grew great… Read more »

What self-esteem does to you * Joke

A man walked into a therapist’s office looking very depressed. “Doc, you’ve got to help me. I can’t go on like this.” “What’s the problem?” the doctor inquired. “Well, I’m 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away.”

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An elderly gentleman…

  Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, ‘Your hearing is… Read more »

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Black Testicles

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. ‘Nurse’, he mumbles, from behind the mask ‘Are my testicles black?’  Embarrassed, the young nurse replies ‘I don’t know, Sir. I’m… Read more »

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I love this Doctor

Q: Doctor,  I’ve heard that  cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?  A: Your  heart is only good for so many  beats, and that’s it…  don’t waste them on exercise.  Everything wears out  eventually.  Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;  that’s like saying you can extend  the life of your car by driving it faster.        Want to… Read more »