Un Couteau Dans Le Coeur

I watched a movie this weekend – French, 2018 – about a serial killer that would target Gay people who appeared in cheap pornos. Badly acted, filled with absolutely forgettable characters (both the actual movie and the movie within the movie), it did offer one good insight.

When the leading lady fails to seduce the film editor, Lois, she screams at her from the top of her badly-acted voice, that she loves her and has done so for quite some many years.

I’ve loved you this hard for 10 years.
I never thought I could love this hard, this long.
This love is too much for me.
It’s too powerful.
I’m terrified of losing you. It’s driving me insane!
You can’t refuse a love like this.
It’s criminal.
You must love me.
Love me.
Love me, love me!

So I started thinking. Why do some people think they’re entitled to another person’s love and affection just because they think it’s deserved? Love goes both ways, so does attraction, and when one side is coming on too strong, you have psychopathic behaviour forming. Stalking. Love bombing. Manipulation and threats from either harming someone else or their own self.

Yes, it’s painful if you’re the one who’s actually loving. Yes, it’s frustrating. But take it from the other side’s point of view. It’s not their fault if they don’t reciprocate the feelings. It’s hard – but you have to move on. Find things to do with your family and friends. Block them – out of sight, out of mind. Don’t push it or they will pull away.

“Love is something which should find you, instead of you searching for it.” The more you search, the more it gets delayed.

Rejection is never easy but knowing how to limit the psychological damage it inflicts, and how to rebuild your self-esteem when it happens, will help you recover sooner and move on with confidence when it is time for your next date or social event.

Unfortunately, the greatest damage rejection causes is usually self-inflicted. Indeed, our natural response to being dumped by a dating partner or getting picked last for a team is not just to lick our wounds but to become intensely self-critical. We call ourselves names, lament our shortcomings, and feel disgusted with ourselves. In other words, just when our self-esteem is hurting most, we go and damage it even further. Doing so is emotionally unhealthy and psychologically self-destructive yet every single one of us has done it at one time or another.

When scientists placed people in functional MRI machines and asked them to recall a recent rejection, they discovered something amazing. The same areas of our brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. That’s why even small rejections hurt more than we think they should, because they elicit literal (albeit, emotional) pain.

What do you think? Ever loved or been loved and not have your feelings reciprocated?

Opening the door to the universe

If you start thinking, “What happens when awareness witnesses the wholeness of existence?” – if you start thinking, you are moving inside the mind in a circle, in a vicious circle, you may find some answer, but that answer is not the truth.
Osho

I’ve done something this week I’ve always wanted to do but never actually had the nerve to try. I went to Amsterdam with my beau and we both tried magic mushrooms. My truffles were something called “Dolphin’s delight” and I managed to have a trip like no other. Colours and sounds and feeling one with everything.

Continue reading “Opening the door to the universe”

Does your hair stand up when listening to music or watching a movie?

Listen to this

Have you ever been listening to a great piece of music and felt a chill run up your spine? Or goosebumps tickle your arms and shoulders? Most people can experience a  deep and visceral reaction to music, strong enough to elicit a physical, bodily response. The experience is called frisson (pronounced free-sawn), a French term meaning “aesthetic chills,” and it feels like waves of pleasure running all over your skin. Some researchers have even dubbed it a “skin orgasm.” Continue reading “Does your hair stand up when listening to music or watching a movie?”

Zombie Food Pyramid

“There’s a lot of ways to get to know a person. Eating her dead boyfriend’s brains is one of the more unorthodox methods.”

It was Dan O’Bannon who introduced brain eating zombies in Return of the Living Dead. This was also one of the few films where the zombies have any capacity for speech and where zombies moaning ‘Brains’ came from.

O’Bannon’s type of zombie has often been parodied over the years, which probably accounts for their popularity and is why the idea of zombies eating brains is so prevalent.

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Why do zombies eat brains?

Nothing could be simpler: Brains provide zombies with the necessary endorphins to dull the pain of Rigor Mortis brought about by decomposition. The more brains, the less pain. In some ways, zombies get a high consuming the delicacy. And with that idea in mind, is it a wonder no one thought of it sooner?

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Find out more with this collection of fun facts and a colorful diagram of the brain. Kids can learn new terms and vocabulary words as they explore the fascinating features of our complicated bodies.

You can download the fact sheet here: doc

What Happens When Music Meets Brain

brain_musicMusic is a window on the brain, scientists say. Few human activities exercise as many brain functions: Playing music demands motor skill, and listening to it stimulates both feelings and intellectual faculties. Scientists now use music to study sense perception, emotions, coordination, timing and the functions of each of the brain’s hemispheres.

The relationship between music and the brain is a fast-growing area of study. Last year, Frank Wilson, a Walnut Creek, Calif., neurologist, organized a conference on the subject, bringing together some 300 interested professionals.

Several books on the subject have been published in recent years, and a new psychology journal called Music Perception was founded in 1983.

Strokes and other brain disorders reveal much about brain functions, including music and language. In one recently reported case, a stroke knocked out only its victim’s ability to name fruits and vegetables, suggesting that categories of words are organized in the same area of the brain. Similarly, strokes have shown that key musical abilities are organized in the right half of the brain, which is associated with emotions and the integration of complex details into wholes.

Tedd Judd, a psychologist at the Pacific Medical Center in Seattle, tells of a composer who suffered a stroke on the right side of the brain and could still compose melodies. But he lost the ability to compose counterpoint, in which melodies are integrated according to complex rules.

Strokes on the right side sometimes erase the ability to sing, even though the memory of song lyrics may be intact. People afflicted that way may speak in a monotone because they can no longer put melody into their voices, says Elliott Ross, a neurologist at the University of Texas medical  school.

But scientists now also realize that music isn’t totally a right-brain function. At the University of California at Los Angeles, John Mazziotta, a researcher, found that in most people listening to simple melodies, the right side of the brain was activated; but those who visualized what they heard as notes on a page mainly used the left side.

Music, long considered the language of emotions, is also an ideal stimulus for experiments on feelings. At Pennsylvania State University, a psychologist, Julian Thayer, plays different kinds of music from Bach to jazz while testing listeners for heart rates and other indicators of emotions. Among other things, his research suggests that just as a radio has separate controls for tone and volume, emotions involve independent levels of pleasantness and intensity.

Brain researchers have been trying for years to understand how the brain handles sensory input, and music is important to their study of sound perception. Scientists believe that some elements of music — like common pitch intervals — have been shaped to reflect the structure of the human auditory system. For example, most people, even in different cultures, perceive tones separated by an octave as closely related. This may result from the channeling of nerve impulses caused by such tones to the same nerve cell in the brain, says Diana Deutsch, a psychologist at the University of California at San Diego.

Tempo is another musical element that intrigues brain researchers. Most people can’t both walk and chew gum at different tempos because the brain can apparently monitor only one internal metronome at a time, says George P. Moore, a researcher at the University of Southern California.

Mr. Moore is also interested in the motor skills involved in playing a musical instrument, where muscle coordination and timing are crucial. Using sensors, including small needles inserted into musicians’ hands, he has learned that performers use unconscious tricks to improve their sound. For example, Mr. Moore found that when playing trills on a violin, some players lighten finger pressure. Then, to compensate for the pitch distortion the lighter pressure would cause, they adjust their hand positions. “Musicians don’t even know they do these things,” he says, which suggests that they subliminally refer to detailed brain “maps” of their instruments to create the desired sound.

Internal maps may guide listeners as well as players, which could explain the difficulty many people have learning to like unfamiliar music. There may even be music so alien that our brains aren’t equipped to make sense of it. “Some avant-garde composers who base their music on new arbitrary ystems are interesting,” says Roger Shepard, a Stanford University psychology professor. “But their music may never take hold with listeners because it doesn’t mesh effectively with the deep cognitive structures of the mind.”