Spinning Out – Or the story of a bi-polar skater

♪ Everything I want ♪
♪ Comes at a cost ♪
♪ And I want ♪
♪ It all ♪

While I was watching this Netflix drama about a skater trying to overcome her previous trauma and trying to make it to the Olympics doing pair skating, all I could think of was “don’t stick your dick in crazy”. Continue reading “Spinning Out – Or the story of a bi-polar skater”

I’m a Professional Nurse * Joke

I won’t laugh, said the nurse. “I’m a professional. In over 15 years of working here, I’ve never laughed at a patient.” “Okay, then,” Said Randy, and he proceeded to drop his pants revealing the smallest male part the nurse had ever seen. In length and width, it was almost identical to a AA battery. Unable to control herself, the nurse tried to suppress a laugh, but it just came out. Feeling very bad at laughing at the mans part she composed herself as best she could. “I’m very sorry,” she said. “I don’t know what came over me. On my honor, as a nurse and a lady, I promise that won’t happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?”

“Its swollen,” Randy replied.

She ran out of the room.

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Ancient Chinese Torture * Joke

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard.

“I’m lost,” said the man. “Can you put me up for the night?”

“Certainly,” the Chinese man said, “but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man.”

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1917 or the story of Sam and Frodo retold

For anyone who’s a fan of Lord of the Rings, it is known that the story was mostly inspired by Tolkien’s days in the war. Lord of the Rings tells a tale that the strong friendships become stronger in the face of adversity and can last a life time. That delivering important items can sometimes make the difference between life and death. And that doing your duty is honour above all.

And when I finally went to see the movie who snatched Best Picture at the Golden Globes, I was absolutely in awe. The movie is wonderfully shot, with panning views that show both the beauty of the French countryside as well as the death and destruction that comes from the ongoing war. And I could not help myself from thinking that Lance Corporal Blake and Lance Corporal Schofield were like Sam and Frodo, sent into the wilderness and dangers of Mordor to deliver another Ring.

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Golden Globes 2020

I have been waiting patiently last night to see the Golden Globes and I’ve cast my ballot after a lot of consideration. I really loved “Joker” and the descent into madness it talks about. The thing is I really loved Almodovar’s feature “Pain and Glory” and I sat breathless at the 2h showing of “Parasite” which I thought was really well made and directed. Continue reading “Golden Globes 2020”

Today’s collection of dirty jokes (long ones)

Wife : “I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars.
“Husband : “How about the ones like mine?
“Wife : “Those they gave away.
“Husband : “I had a dream too…I dreamt they were auctioning off cunts. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two thousand.
“Wife : “And how much for the ones like mine?
“Husband : “That’s where they held the auction.”

Continue reading “Today’s collection of dirty jokes (long ones)”

Love Song – Poem by Rainer Maria Rilke

How can I keep my soul in me, so that
it doesn’t touch your soul? How can I raise
it high enough, past you, to other things?
I would like to shelter it, among remote
lost objects, in some dark and silent place
that doesn’t resonate when your depths resound.
Yet everything that touches us, me and you,
takes us together like a violin’s bow,
which draws *one* voice out of two separate strings.
Upon what instrument are we two spanned?
And what musician holds us in his hand?
Oh sweetest song.

Rainer Maria Rilke