Posts Categorized: Police

Things not to say to a cop when you’re pulled over…

I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. You’re not going to check the trunk, are you? Gee, that gut sure doesn’t… Read more »

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Show him your badge!! Joke

A police officer in Penticton stops at a local ranch. He talks with an old rancher, and tells him.” I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs”. The rancher says, ” OKay, but do not go in that field over there,” as he is pointing out the location. The police officer verbally explodes… Read more »

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I hid the body, now what? Prank does have results…

So I saw this a while back on 9GAG and was surprised to see how many people actually were bored… – 4 reports in Fort Worth in 4 Weeks in 2012 – http://www.star-telegram.com/2012/03/22/3829820/hid-the-body-text-prank-may-lead.html – 1 report in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada in 2012 – http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2118439/I-hid-body–Prank-text-human-remains-sees-womans-house-surrounded-police.html – 1 report in Texas, Arkansas, US – http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/14/arkansas-teen-texts-prank_0_n_1346262.html These were the only reported ones… Read more »

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Cop Jokes

The Suspect There was an exam at the Police to elect a new lieutenant. So, they bring each of the interviewees and show them a profile picture of the suspect. “What can you tell us about this man?” asks the commission. The first cop responds: “Well… he only has one ear.” They throw him out and… Read more »

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Crazy Woman

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, ‘ I clocked you at 80miles per hour, sir.’ The driver says, ‘Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.’ Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: ‘Now don’t be silly dear, you know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.’… Read more »

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Never Argue with a Woman.

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book.. The peace… Read more »