Posts Categorized: Funny People

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Chuck Norris is Awesome

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out. Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. Some people like to eat frogs’ legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes. There… Read more »

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Blonde Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence ? A: She wasn’t used to the front seat! Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives? A: The vegetable garden. Q: Why don’t they let Blondes swim in the ocean? A: Because they can’t get the smell out of the tuna. Q: What’s the… Read more »

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A biker and a cop

A guy was riding his Hyabusa at 95 on the M62, when he noticed a jam sandwich coming up behind him. The patrol car flashed him and put on the blues. The rider wound on the throttle and got up to 110, the copper was still there, he wound it up to 130, still the… Read more »

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Politically Correct Male and Female Descriptions

“Politically Correct” Male Descriptions He does not have a beer gut… He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility. He is not quiet… He is a Conversational Minimalist. He is not stupid… He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development. He does not get lost all the time… He discovers Alternative Destinations. He is not balding… He… Read more »

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Police Quotes

These are actual police officer quotes collected from numerous people stopped for moving traffic violations. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.” “The handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.” “So, you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write… Read more »