Posts Categorized: Funny People

Answering machine at the Mental Hospital…

“Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline … If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. Click to rate this post! [Total: 0 Average: 0]

Arkansas Etiquette

Some Arkansas etiquette tips… My apologies to friends from Texas, North Carolina, West Virginia, and other parts of the country who may feel left out. PERSONAL HYGIENE While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one’s OWN truck keys. Proper use of toiletries can forestall… Read more »

Great Reasons To Be A Guy…

Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don’t rob you blind. You can go to the bathroom without a support group. You can leave the motel bed unmade. You can… Read more »

Confucius Says – Funny Sayings

America good place to put Chinese restaurant. Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok. Man who stands on toilet is high on pot. Man who run behind car get exhausted. Click to rate this post! [Total: 0 Average: 0]

Star Wars … with Pants

Just in case you think you’ve heard it all… We got our hands on a little known about revision of the original Star Wars movie script that substitutes the word “pants” into many of the lines… Click to rate this post! [Total: 0 Average: 0]

Southern Medical Terms

Benign……………………. What you be, after you be eight. Artery……………………. The study of paintings. Bacteria………………….. Back door to cafeteria. Barium……………………. What doctors do when patients die. Caesarean Section…………… A neighbourhood in Rome. Catscan…………………… Searching for Kitty. Cauterize…………………. Made eye contact with her. Colic…………………….. A sheep dog. Coma……………………… A punctuation mark. D&C………………………. Where Washington is. Dilate……………………. To… Read more »

The Swearing Pianist – Joke

This bloke walks into the poshest restaurant in town and says, “Where’s the god damn, mother fucking Manager you cock sucking arse wipe.” The waiter is naturally taken aback and replies, “Excuse me, sir, but could you please refrain from using that sort of language in here, I will get the manager as soon as… Read more »

Your 2021 Horoscope

ARIES You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don’t give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn’t care less. You’re the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding Click to rate this post! [Total: 0 Average: 0]