Posts Categorized: Funny People

Lifetime & Retirement Jokes

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What is that, a bonus? I think the cycle is all backwards. You should die first. Get it out of the… Read more »

Ant Jokes * Clean Children Humour

Who ever knew there were jokes about ants. Where do ants go to eat ? At a restaurant ! What do you call an ant from overseas ? Impartant What kind of ants are very learned ? Pedants ! Who was the most famous ant scientist ? Albert Antstein ! What is even bigger than… Read more »

A list of what the college year books don’t tell you.

Quarters are like gold. Be creative in the dining hall. Flipflops become as important as soap, shampoo, etc. You will never find so many excuses for a bucket. Asleep by 2:30 am is an early night. New additions to the food groups: Mountain Dew, Doritos, Ben & Jerry’s, Ho-Hos and Oreos Make sure your alarm… Read more »

Your New Computer * Funny

Congratulations! You have purchased an Anthrax 2000 Multimedia Personal Computer with Digital Doo-Dah Enhancer. It will give many years of faithful service, if you ever get it up and running. Also included with your PC is a special bonus pack of free pre-installed software:- ‘Lawn Mowing Planner’, ‘Blank Screen Saver’, ‘East Africa Route Finder’ and… Read more »

Best out of office Automatic email replies – Funny!

I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood. You are receiving this automatic notification, because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all…. Read more »

Animal Jokes

How To Wash The Cat 1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water. 3. Obtain the cat and carry him to the bathroom. 4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so… Read more »

Zen Humor

If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? Click to rate this post! [Total: 0 Average: 0]

Find out what men really mean when they say…

“I’M GOING FISHING” Means: “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “IT’S A GUY THING” Means: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical”…. Read more »

Things not to say to a cop when you’re pulled over…

I only had one officer Mr. Keg.. Back off Barney, I’ve got a piece. Want to race to the station, Sparky? I know I was weaving, but I can’t find the Honeycomb Hideout! On the way to the station let’s get a twelve pack. You’ll never get those cuffs on me…You Pussy! Come on write… Read more »