Today we busy ourselves with cute sleeping doggies (and one kitten) and the origin or a well known expression.
‘Let sleeping dogs lie’ derives from the long-standing observation that dogs are often unpredictable when they are suddenly disturbed. Geoffrey Chaucer was one of the first to put this notion into print, in Troilus and Criseyde, circa 1380, although the belief itself may well be much older:
“It is nought good a slepyng hound to wake.”
A man was drinking in a bar. Next to him was a beautiful German Shepherd. A woman was admiring the dog and the man said..
“yes he is a lovely dog but I’m still training him”
“oh!” She said. “what sort of things are you training him to do”?
“Well right now I’m training him to make love to a beautiful woman” he said.
The woman blushed and said,, “you’re kidding me!”
“It’s true!” The man replied – “I can prove it to you if you come outside”
So she did. Outside the man looked at the dog and said – “go on then, get on with it!”
The dog sat there and looked at him. The man tried for several minutes to coax the dog into making love to the woman to no avail, while the woman was doing her best to look seductive. Finally the man said….
…..”Okay Rover” as he unzipped his fly,
“but this is the very last time I’m going to show you!”
Dogs don’t cry (unless they have to pee).
Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don’t care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs think you sing great.
A dog’s time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink. Continue reading “WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN”
Claws of Fury
A man sees a sign outside a house – ‘Talking Dog For Sale.’ He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden.
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
“Do you really talk?” he asks the dog.
“Yes,” the Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, he man asks, “So, tell me your story.”
The Labrador looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS.
“In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping.
“I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I’ve just retired.”
The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.
“Ten quid,” the owner says.
“£10!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?”
“Because he’s a lying bastard. He’s never been out of the garden!!
I will lend to you for awhile
a puppy, God said,
For you to love him while he lives
and to mourn for him when he is gone.
Maybe for twelve or fourteen years,
or maybe for two or three
But will you, till I call him back
take care of him for me?
He’ll bring his charms to gladden you
and (should his stay be brief)
you’ll always have his memories
as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise that he will stay,
since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught below
I want this pup to learn.
I’ve looked the whole world over
in search of teachers true
And from the folk that crowd life’s land
I have chosen you.
Now will you give him all your love
Nor think the labour vain
Nor hate me when I come to take my pup back again.
I fancied that I heard them say
“Dear Lord Thy Will Be Done,”
For all the joys this pup will bring,
the risk of grief you’ll run.
Will you shelter him with tenderness
Will you love him while you may
And for the happiness you’ll know forever grateful stay.
But should I call him back
much sooner than you’ve planned
Please brave the bitter grief that comes
and try to understand.
If, by your love, you’ve managed
my wishes to achieve,
In memory of him that you’ve loved,
cherish every moment with your faithful bundle,
and know he loved you too.