Black and White

Went through my gaming bundle this weekend and guess what I’ve found – Black and White. The original. Not Pokemon, but a game so simple as it was hard. In this game, you play a god (cow god, wolf god, monkey god).
It makes you ask yourself – Who do you want to be? Do you want to be good? Do you want to rule your people with love, care and gentle pushes? Even if they sometimes make annoying requests at you – like : Find my cat…
Or do you want to be evil? Pure evil. Destroy any un-believer with a thunder strike. Start a war with a neighbor. Destroy villages to assert your power.

I went with the cow (of course). A gentle mammal, known for her good milk and massive tits ūüôā
Very soon, annoyed with my people, I wished I went with the war wolf. He looked so much cooler. But is cool what matters? I just did not want to be weak and taken advantage of by those lousy villagers. So, I started burning down a tree here and there in my annoyance and the villagers wondered at my powers and their admiration grew. They sang songs about me and how gentle and caring I was. And then I was invaded by a brute next door and I lost all my villages.
The moral of the story: if you want to be annihilated by a mad dog, be nice and quiet. If you want to rule, step up and bite the bullet. It can’t be THAT hard.
I think this approach will suit me in business more than in my personal life. Which is good. ‘Cause currently there is no personal life to speak of… Grrr.

Anyone remember the 2002 game called RoadRash?

I used to spend hours playing this game! I got real good too! I nearly thought I could become a motorbike racer when I grew up but whoops, I realized I was already grown up so no go!

For those who want to give it a go, you can download it for free from this link:

Graphics and fun stuff below: (PS – I actually did all the levels!)

Sexiest Animated Character Ever!

I have been looking for a game to play for a while and I have been looking at the Final Fantasy options as the storyline is always good and there is always a hot guy in the mix. I came across Final Fantasy Dirge of Cerberus and …. wow! This guy looks like my ideal man! Drooool!
Hint: the guy I’m talking about is not Cloud.


“I find the ideas in the fractals, both as a body of knowledge and as a metaphor, an incredibly important way of looking at the world.” ¬†–¬†Vice President and Nobel Laureate Al Gore,¬†New York Times, Wednesday, June 21, 2000, discussing some of the “big think” questions that intrigue him.

A fractal is a symetrical compositions of the same object. Repeated over and over again, close to infinity. It contains smaller and smaller copies of itself, either going inward or outward, shrinking from view or expanding to infinity.

Source: Yale Courses

Below are some fractal pictures generated with computer software:

Fractals have been employed when doing the Crop Circles in England.

Computer viruses

Ellen Degeneres virus

Your PC suddenly claims it’s a MAC.
Monica Lewinsky virus Sucks all the memory out of your computer.
Titanic virus Makes your whole computer go down.
Disney virus Everything in the computer goes Goofy.
Mike Tyson virus Quits after one byte.
Prozac virus Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn’t care.
Sharon Stone virus Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it’s there.
Lorena Bobbit virus Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.
Tim Allen virus Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact.
Woody Allen virus Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.
Saddam Hussein virus Won’t let you into any of your programs.
Tonya Harding virus Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.
George Michaels virus Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup.
Joey Buttafuoco virus Only attacks minor files.
X-files virus All your Icons start shapeshifting.
Spice Girl virus Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.
Ronald Reagan virus Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.
Sony Bono virus Just when you get surfing the web, a firewall appears out of nowhere.
Martha Stewart virus Takes all your files, sorts them by category and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop.
Oprah Winfrey virus Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.
AT&T virus Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI virus Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you’re paying too much for the AT&T virus.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus Terminates and stays resident.
It’ll be back.
Viagra virus Expands your hard drive, while putting too much pressure on your zip drive.
Politically correct virus Never calls itself a “virus”, but instead refers to itself as an “electronic microorganism.”
Pro-life virus Won’t allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counsellor about possible alternatives.
Texas virus Makes sure that it’s bigger than any other file.
Adam and Eve virus Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus You’re in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Nike virus Just does it.
Star treck virus Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
Health care virus Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.

Use your virus scan, dont let any of these viruses infect your PC!

Computer Jokes

“Apple” (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.
“Hex Dump” – Where Witches put used Curses?
“I drank WHAT!?” – Socrates
(A)bort (R)etry (I)nfluence with large hammer
*I* didn’t do it, the *computer* did it!
?ti t’nseod ,nainognilK sdnuos tI
A clean, neat, desk is a sign of a sick mind.
A flashlight is a case in which to carry dead batteries.
A wok is what you throw at a wabbit.
AAcckk!!¬† II”mm iinn hhaallff dduupplleexx
And God said: E = mc^2 , and there was light!
Apathy Error: Don’t bother striking any key.
Are dog biscuits made from collie flour.
Are you a Klingon, or is that a turtle on your head?
Baroque: (def.) When you are out of Monet!
Be vewy vewy quiet…I’m hunting tagwines!
Become a programmer and never see the world!!
Beep! Invalid Input.¬† I take only cash….
Beware!¬† I’m armed and have premenstrual tension.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding.
But I thought YOU did the backups…
Can I call you Ms. Dos?
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Boring Old Language
Coming soon: Netware for Nintendo
Computers: all they think is HEX !
Contrary to popular opinion, God’s last name isn’t Damn
DANGER DANGER Computer store ahead…hide wallet.
Danger! Gay zone! …Danger! Gays!…Run!!!……too late.
Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Die Schweine kamen vom Lande in die Staedten und dort wurden sie _Genossen.
Diplomacy is saying “nice doggy” until you find a rock.
DisneyLand: A people trap operated by a mouse.
Do witches run spell checkers?
Documentation…The stuff you wipe up coffee with.
Don’t pick up that phon@#*(>:’¬† NO CARRIER
Drop your carrier…we have you surrounded!
Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want…
Fer sell cheep:  IBM spel chekker.  Wurks grate.
God is dead.Nietzsche  Nietzsche is dead.God
His mummy went to a beauty contest and got fined! (=a luat amenda)
How do you know it’s summer in Seattle? The rain’s warmer
I drive way too fast to worry what foods will kill me!!
I never makes mistakes
I parked my harddisk – and got a ticket!
I wanna sex you (up/down/over/all over/through/out/over_and_over_again/dead).
I’m happiest when someone else is doing the cooking.
I’m not nearly as think as you confused I am.
If Einstein Had Been Black It would be E=MC Hammer
If money talks, Being a SysOp is pretty quiet!
If the enemy is in range … so are you!!!
Il y a 2 genres d’hommes: Ceux qui arrivent `a tout et ceux¬† `a qui tout arrive.
Is OS/2 only half an operating system?
It takes leather balls to play rugby.
Join the army, meet interesting people, kill them.
L’amour fait passer le temps …et le temps fait passer l’amour.
Math and Alcohol don’t mix.¬† Please don’t drink & dErive.
Misbehaving witches are sent to their broom closet.
Money lent is money spent.
Most GUI’s I’ve seen are pretty gooey.
Multitasking = screwing up several things at once.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely.
Never test for an error you don’t know how to handle.
No school, no job.No problem
Noah saved animals from the flood by arcing them!
Nothing in the universe travels faster than a bad check
Ok, now for a quick backu^L+b&2PO^1+=.
Once a king, always a king but once a [k]night is enough!
Only two things are universal;  Hydrogen and Stupidity.
OS/2¬†¬†¬† That’s half an op

Poetry for Nerds

T’was the Internet Night Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,
There were hacker’s a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet.
The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,
While visions of Java danced in their dreams.
My wife on the sofa and me with a snack,
We just settled down at my rig (it’s a Mac).

When out in the Web there arose such a clatter,
I jumped to the site to see what was the matter.
To a new page my Mac flew like a flash,
Then made a slight gurgle. It started to crash!!

I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,
Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
My Mac jumped to a page that wasn’t quite clear.

When the image resolved, so bright and so quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!
More rapid than mainframes, more graphics they came,
Then Nick glanced toward my screen, my Mac called them by name;

“Now Compaq! Now Acer!”, my speaker did reel;
“On Apple! On Gateway!” Santa started to squeal!
“Jump onto the circuits! And into the chip!
Now speed it up! Speed it up! Make this thing hip!”

The screen gave a flicker, he was into my “Ram”,
Then into my room rose a full hologram!
He was dressed in all red, from his head to his shoes,
Which were black (the white socks he really should lose).

He pulled out some discs he had stored in his backpack.
Santa looked like a dude who was rarin’ to hack!
His eyes, how they twinkled! His glasses, how techno!
This ain’t the same Santa that I used to know!

With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head,
Santa soon let me know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, gave my Mac a quick poke,
And accessed my C drive with only a stroke.

He defragged my hard drive, and added a “Dimm”,
Then threw in some cool games, just on a whim!
He worked without noise, his fingers they flew!
He distorted some pictures with Kai’s Power Goo!

He updated Office, Excel and Quicken,
Then added a screensaver with a red clucking chicken!
My eyes widened a bit, my mouth stood agape,
As he added the latest version of Netscape.

The drive gave a whirl, as if it were pleased,
St. Nick coyly smiled, the computer appeased.
Then placing his finger on the bridge of his nose,
Santa turned into nothing but ones and zeros!

He flew back into my screen and through my uplink,
Back into the net with barely a blink.
But I heard his sweet voice as he flew from my sight,
“Happy surfing to all, and to all a good byte!”

Top Ten Windows Errors

1. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
2. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
3. Close your eyes and press escape three times.
4. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
5. BREAKFAST.SYS halted… Cereal port not responding.
6. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
7. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
8. Windows VirusScan 1.0 –
9. Bad or missing mouse. Kick the cat? (Y/N)
10. User Error: Replace user.