Posts By: theFerkel

Frenemies may make these comments! Or you might! * Funny

When you hear these comments don’t assume their positive sound is all they intend to be. Backhanded comments really are a kicker. “That dress is lovely; it does wonders for your figure.” “You’re smarter than you look.” “You drive very well, for a woman.”

Compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers..

Our next song is “Angels We Have Heard Get High”. Don’t let worry kill you — let the church help. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

50 fun things for professors to do on the first day of class…

1.Wear a hood with one eye hole. Periodically make strange gurgling noises. 2.After confirming everyone’s names on the roll, thank the class for attending “Advanced Astrodynamics 690” and mention that yesterday was the last day to drop. 3.After turning on the overhead projector, clutch your chest and scream “MY PACEMAKER!” 4.wear a pointed Kaiser helmet… Read more »

Home Remedies for clumsy people

It is always important to have a plan of action ready in case an unfortunate event occurs at home. Here are some helpful tips that could really help out… 1. If you are chocking on an ice cube don’t panic. Simply pour a kettle of freshly boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage… Read more »

Answering machine at the Mental Hospital…

“Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline … If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

Arkansas Etiquette

Some Arkansas etiquette tips… My apologies to friends from Texas, North Carolina, West Virginia, and other parts of the country who may feel left out. PERSONAL HYGIENE While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one’s OWN truck keys. Proper use of toiletries can forestall… Read more »

Great Reasons To Be A Guy…

Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don’t rob you blind. You can go to the bathroom without a support group. You can leave the motel bed unmade. You can… Read more »

Confucius Says – Funny Sayings

America good place to put Chinese restaurant. Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok. Man who stands on toilet is high on pot. Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Star Wars … with Pants

Just in case you think you’ve heard it all… We got our hands on a little known about revision of the original Star Wars movie script that substitutes the word “pants” into many of the lines…