♪ Everything I want ♪
♪ Comes at a cost ♪
♪ And I want ♪
♪ It all ♪
While I was watching this Netflix drama about a skater trying to overcome her previous trauma and trying to make it to the Olympics doing pair skating, all I could think of was “don’t stick your dick in crazy”. Continue reading “Spinning Out – Or the story of a bi-polar skater”
I won’t laugh, said the nurse. “I’m a professional. In over 15 years of working here, I’ve never laughed at a patient.” “Okay, then,” Said Randy, and he proceeded to drop his pants revealing the smallest male part the nurse had ever seen. In length and width, it was almost identical to a AA battery. Unable to control herself, the nurse tried to suppress a laugh, but it just came out. Feeling very bad at laughing at the mans part she composed herself as best she could. “I’m very sorry,” she said. “I don’t know what came over me. On my honor, as a nurse and a lady, I promise that won’t happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?”
“Its swollen,” Randy replied.
She ran out of the room.
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard.
“I’m lost,” said the man. “Can you put me up for the night?”
“Certainly,” the Chinese man said, “but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man.”
Continue reading “Ancient Chinese Torture * Joke”
An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom.
Continue reading “An American goes to China Joke”
For anyone who’s a fan of Lord of the Rings, it is known that the story was mostly inspired by Tolkien’s days in the war. Lord of the Rings tells a tale that the strong friendships become stronger in the face of adversity and can last a life time. That delivering important items can sometimes make the difference between life and death. And that doing your duty is honour above all.
And when I finally went to see the movie who snatched Best Picture at the Golden Globes, I was absolutely in awe. The movie is wonderfully shot, with panning views that show both the beauty of the French countryside as well as the death and destruction that comes from the ongoing war. And I could not help myself from thinking that Lance Corporal Blake and Lance Corporal Schofield were like Sam and Frodo, sent into the wilderness and dangers of Mordor to deliver another Ring.
Continue reading “1917 or the story of Sam and Frodo retold”
I have been waiting patiently last night to see the Golden Globes and I’ve cast my ballot after a lot of consideration. I really loved “Joker” and the descent into madness it talks about. The thing is I really loved Almodovar’s feature “Pain and Glory” and I sat breathless at the 2h showing of “Parasite” which I thought was really well made and directed. Continue reading “Golden Globes 2020”
Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. Continue reading “Twas The Month After Christmas”
Wife : “I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars.
“Husband : “How about the ones like mine?
“Wife : “Those they gave away.
“Husband : “I had a dream too…I dreamt they were auctioning off cunts. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two thousand.
“Wife : “And how much for the ones like mine?
“Husband : “That’s where they held the auction.”
Continue reading “Today’s collection of dirty jokes (long ones)”