By Imogen LeBlank.
The subject of orgasm is indeed a very strange one. To men it is simple, ejaculate! and hey, you’re there! (But even this has now been challenged by
modern science – men can have multiple orgasms. A man’s ejaculation and orgasm are two different things. More on this later).
Men find much more difficulty in understanding the female orgasm. There is an explosive orgasm which actually shoots vaginal fluid right out (similar
to a man’s ejaculation), and another where waves of ecstasy just envelop the woman and the fluids still flow copiously, but perhaps less violently!
CHAPTER 1: THE ORGASM.
Taking any woman to orgasm every time is not that hard! Believe me. If you absorb and act on the nuggets of information on the following pages, believe me, your love life will be enriched in a way you will have never imagined!
If there are things that are repeated – it’s because they’re essential, remember them!
TRUSTING YOUR PARTNER.
Men can never understand. They can get off in almost any circumstance. So can a girl, but if she has grown to trust the man she’s with to get her to orgasm, the first step is trust. Ensure that she’s comfortable, in a safe, soothing environment – “quickies” usually only do it for the man. The girl remains unsatisfied.
You may think that you know when a woman is aroused, when she’s orgasmic, or when she’s faking it. Believe me, you don’t. A man can never tell. The first step to the orgasm secret is simple. Don’t “bang” your girl – make love to her – gently. Notice the key words we’ve used here – trust and gently.
Orgasm must be teased into existence. Imagine that you had an itch somewhere, but were for some reason unable to scratch it. As time went on that desire to scratch would become stronger and stronger. This is a perfect analogy to apply to lovemaking. To your lovemaking. The secret is in gently teasing her into that state. Building up that “itch” until it has to be satisfied (by you).
Kissing alone can take some women to orgasm! This may give you an idea as to the importance that they place on this act. When you are sitting, fully clothed with the goal of eventually making love, kiss her gently. Take your time. Remember, slower and gentler is better. Kiss her gently, try to awaken her senses. At times hold back your mouth – make her want it! Deprive her of it! Increase her desire, make her go for it.
When you start to touch, make it deliberate. What I’m saying is, don’t start groping as soon as the kissing starts! Hold back (have I said that before?
Well take note then!). When you touch, think of new novel ways and places, for e.g.:
- using the back of your fingernails.
- stroking her neck.
- featherlight caresses on her forearms, her back, her calves, the back of her knees (women love to be kissed and licked here as well).
Much of the above obviously applies to when both of you are in a state of undress. Remember to apply the “hold back” theory to this as well. Don’t hop about with one sock on as you tussle with your belt! It looks unsexy – it is unsexy!
Take your time. Undress each other slowly – show her your finesse.
After a while start caressing her breasts – remember we haven’t gone below the waist yet! Take your time – hold back. Good things come to those who wait.
With breasts, as with her whole body, don’t be rough, don’t be in a hurry and don’t be boring – innovate! Don’t pummel or squeeze, use your nails and finger tips. Flick your tongue around there. Avoid her nipples. Don’t get to those until later. This is the most sensitive part of the breast. By teasing in this manner you are creating desire, creating an anticipation, holding back on something that she wants and will more fervently want, more and more of. Don’t give in and get rough, keep it up. You are already in a select band of men – you’re taking your time!
BEING A GREAT LOVER.
An essential ingredient in the make up of a great lover is that he enjoys it! Great, you’re probably thinking, I do enjoy it! I love it! So I must be a great lover. But do you? Most men love the concept of it, so that they can boost their ego and gain approval from their pals. If you truly enjoy sex, then you want it to go on and on and on.
Not put it in, a few strokes, ejaculate and out!
The reason we’ve spent so long and not even touched her between her legs is because of this. Making love is an art form, learn it. Women adore the process we’ve described so far, the feelings, the kisses, the embrace. Don’t think of individual “erogenous” zones. Her whole body is an erogenous zone! Believe me, that’s no exaggeration!
So, where were we? The breasts! The reason for that brief interlude was to convince you of the importance of this “preparation” time.
OTHER AREAS FOR ATTENTION.
So we’re getting her to that elusive comfort zone. Here are a few tips. Consider them rules. and you’re on your way. Abide by them.
Pay attention to the whole body – hair, ears, shoulders, forehead, forearms, between breasts, inner thighs. Hold her hand – she’ll love it Treat her like you’ve known her for ages. She’s the greatest thing in your life. This will increase the excitement and pleasure for both of you. Although this is a list. Don’t appear to be going by routine. Chop and change. Excite her!
Try to look deep into her eyes as often and as long as you can. It will strengthen your connection and heighten the experience.
Use your instinct. Gauge the situation and decide your next move.
Build up the light touches to sucking and massage, to ease out tense areas.
Dont be robotic with your approach. Smooth flowing movements are what’s required. All this is building up her trust, your adoring, careful touch will solidify her trust.
You must enjoy and appreciate the experience. Be in the moment. The likelihood of meeting a good lover is so slim, many women don’t even know what a good lover is. Be that good lover – surprise her – excite her!
Concentrate on “non-sexual” parts as well. This in itself will surprise and delight her. Be giving and totally unselfish.
A woman absolutely loves to be valued. She cannot and doesn’t want to (like a man) separate the act of love and the circumstances around it. She needs emotional intimacy. So act on the above and give it to her. And we haven’t even reached between her legs yet!
GIVING HER ORGASMS.
Your girl should be in a really high state of arousal if you’ve touched her as recommended so far. So now slowly slide your hand between her legs. At first skim the area with your finger tips, lightly brushing the pubic hair.
Men’s penis’s have a life of their own. By this stage the man has probably been rock hard and ready for penetration several times. If you’re semi-hard start gently rubbing her clitoris with the head of your penis (the clitoris is the small “hooded” thing at the upper end of the mouth of the vagina). This rubbing should get you hard. If you’re already hard, still do it. As before begin lightly and gently then build up the pressure. As always be gentle, softly play with her vagina. She should be getting the message that you could go in, but you’re not! There we go again! You’re holding back.
You’ve now joined an elite band of men, as she’s probably puzzled here. Why isn’t he ramming it in? The majority of men do, and her previous experience is probably no different. But you are! HOLD BACK. Tease her!
You must now tease until she practically begs you to put it in. The more you tease her clitoris, the more aroused she will get. She’ll now tell you to put it in – but don’t! Hold back. You want her to ache for it, more and more. OK, so now she’s aching, forget aching – she’s practically begging!
What are you going do? Put it in? No way! Give her an inch! Put it in slightly and pull it out. Slowly in, slowly out. Gradually, but slowly remember, allow a bit more of your penis – slowly in, slowly out. Never go all the way – not until she starts to orgasm.
What is happening here is that her clitoris is being teased. Teased and teased until she achieves orgasm. Banging away, straight away, like most guys do, just leads to soreness! So she fakes an orgasm just to get the man the hell out of there!
As you’re slowly going in and out – never all the way – she gets more and more aroused – and so will you! Because really both of you are holding back on what you really want. Tease her until you simply can’t take it any more. This will be way beyond her endurance point.
Right, so now she’s nearing the peak – she’s begging you for the orgasm she so desperately needs, go in deeper and out, deeper and out, keeping the slow tortuous pace until you see her starting to orgasm – true orgasm. Once you get to full penetration. Whatever she does, you’ll know it’s real – the girl just had an orgasm, maybe her first one – and you did it, not by chance but by design – and you can do it again. You deliberately teased her until she couldn’t hold back any longer and opened up completely to you.
Now the fact is, if you can get aroused again, you can do it again, giving her several more orgasms. Now you won’t have to tease and they’ll come much quicker. And you can do it a little harder as well. If you can keep from coming, do so, as this will pleasure her into more orgasms.
If you do come, believe me it’ll be good – real good, maybe the best orgasm you’ve ever had! Now quit reading, and go out and see your girl!
One surefire way of knowing that your lover is in an orgasmic state; she will produce a sweet, intoxicating saliva, and even in the throes of passion you will tangibly notice the gorgeous taste; sweet exquisite and tastier than honey mixed with pure water. This reaction is not some unattainable myth, and once you experience it (using the above method), you will want it again and again. It gives a man a shivering sensation throughout his body, and is truly truly intoxicating.
THOUGHTS ON FEMALE ORGASM.
Before we get onto the method you use to elicit what I term “The Explosive Orgasm“. A few thoughts and notes. If you feel you are very free and close to your partner, a fantastic idea is to ask her if she’d agree to satisfy herself in front of you using her fingers. A high percentage of women can achieve orgasm this way because obviously they are in full control of their body and know “which buttons to press”. If she agrees, you will have a map drawn out on another way to take your woman to climax. Also ask her her likes (and dislikes) – this is essential. Note what works – and remember to repeat it. If it isn’t broke, don’t try to fix it.
NEGATIVES TO AVOID.
Things that don’t lead to orgasm:
Performance pressure (for both sexes) – relax!
Male climaxing to soon before his woman’s even “warmed up”. (Solutions to premature ejaculation problems come later).
The female not indicating what’s working and what’s not
The man promising (and subsequently not living up to) great expectations.
(“Watch this, you’re gonna explode baby”). ln situations like this, the typical male response is to complain about how it worked on his previous girlfriend(s) so you must be frigid/cold, etc. This is real immaturity – no one is to “blame”. A complete no-no.
Unlike a man, a woman’s sexual machinery can pump out orgasm after orgasm without a break in between. So what can you do about it? The answer is keep on! Persistence can never live with failure. Many times a man will stop a few moments before his partner cliniaxes. How frustrating. Once you sense orgasm, after the first one (obviously as long as you haven’t already climaxed), it may be a good idea to change your “style”. That is change your pace, depth, movement, angle, etc. Don’t be boring, be varied.
An essential tip is to keep monitoring your girl’s progress as you make love.
Ask her if she wants more, if she wants a break, if what she’s feeling is good. Reassure her. Be sexy!
With the woman on top, with you inside her, use your thumb (right next to and at roughly the same angle as your penis). Now tell her to position it at the angle she wants. You don’t even have to move it! Tell her to move it to the best, most favourable position.
A final note on multiple orgasms: Don’t allow yourself to get hung up on multiple orgasms! Most women aren’t out there yearning for a multiple. Even one will do! So start with the first step, then go on.
WHERE TO FIND THE G-SPOT.
The idea of the G-Spot was first suggested by Ernst Grafenberg as far back as the ’50’s. It isn’t really a “spot”, more “an area”, which on stimulation, initially can give a woman the feeling that she is about to urinate! But with continual stimulation can create fantastically explosive results on the orgasm front.
The G-Spot is positioned about two inches inside the vagina, straight up along the “front wall”.
THE EXPLOSIVE ORGASM.
This is no exaggeration. Believe me, this isn’t hype! But one reason for the title, is, basically because that’s what happens! As I mentioned before, to reach the point where the girl is literally going to shoot her love juices out of her body – relaxation and comfort are paramount.
If you’ve been concentrating, the methods for building up her excitement and the necessity of this procedure should be etched in your memory. If not, pause, turn back, re-read! The main difference between the two orgasm types and reason for the difference is as follows:
The explosive orgasm relies on stimulation of the G-Spot. It is very difficult to access this area successfully with your penis, so you must use one, or even two fingers. The idea of this whole book is to learn the techniques and then add your own individual improvisational extras.
So, after mastering both these techniques, you may wish to combine them and create your own sizzling menu of sexual techniques.
I say: Learn, apply, then IMPROVISE!
Back to the technique. This method of taking a woman to orgasm will only work if your partner totally, 100%, confides in you and trusts you. Even more so than the technique explained earlier.
But the principles remain the same. Hold back. Hold back. When she is comfortable, and totally relaxed, hold her closer, reassure her of your passion for her pleasure and well-being. Then slip your hand gently between her legs.
Cover as much of her vaginal area as you can. The pubic hair “frontside” and the labia (the opening of her vagina). Don’t insert your finger yet. She must now be totally aroused, and expecting you, with either your finger, penis or tongue, to enter her. (Remember, for this explosive orgasm her physical and mental relaxation is essential).
But don’t enter her. If she asks you to, say no. If she doesn’t ask you to, ask her if she’d like you to. If she says yes, then refuse! As before, we’re building desire and heightening anticipation. As before, tease her until you simply must enter!
Now slip in a finger. She should have been well beyond her point of endurance and should now be going wild, simply at this small move. Now without hesitation, head straight for the G-Spot.
To recap: The G-Spot is around two inches above the opening of the vagina.
On the inner wall. If you slide your finger in and hook it upward, you’re there. Meanwhile your mouth and other hand should be busy stimulating the rest of her body.
A great idea is to be giving her deep kisses on her neck, while using your finger. Press lightly into the wetness. Really get into this. Psychologically, be in the moment. Now gently rub the G-Spot with the pads of your fingers, make sure you don’t have long nails. This is a very sensitive area. The surface should feel silky smooth.
Now slip in another finger and do the same. From now until she orgasms, your fingers should remain on this “hot spot”. Don’t delve too deep, no matter how carried away you are. Stay with the G-Spot. As I’ve said. Learn, apply, improvise. Apply this maxim to the following techniques. Mix and match your combinations.
Use variety. As her excitement mounts, on an ever increasing scale, increase the vigour of movement and pressure from the finger tips. Slide your fingers in and out. Up and down. All the while monitoring your lovers responses, figuring out from her reactions, what is working, what move is hitting the spot. This is an important point. In love making you should always be ultra alert, ultra aware, ultra sensitive. No sleeping on the job. That’s for later! Vary the amount of time you hold a position – touching, before moving again – also vary this between the fingers.
Her uncontrolled reactions to this vital stimulation will be for her inner vaginal muscles to contract and expand; continuously. Her movement implies an impending ejaculation of vaginal fluid. The Explosive Orgasm.
Note I said uncontrolled reactions. This is exactly the case. Now whatever happens, she won’t be able to hold back. Thus the paramount importance of her trust in you and your repeated assurances of the good reasons for her faith! This could well be the start of a new deeper phase in your relationship.
Her whole “pubic” area will at this stage be “on fire”. She’ll be screaming, shouting, breathing heavy and maybe even using bad language! She’ll grip you hard. Grip her hard right back! Remember 100% trust is required for the maximum physical sensation. Get on her wavelength. Get that trust! Earn it!
THE SIGNS BEFORE THE EXPLOSION.
You’ll know she’s about to shoot when her muscles really tighten hard, almost expelling your fingers from inside her. She’ll also, suddenly become super-wet and you’ll feel it. When you see the signs and recognise them, do something she likes with your mouth/other hand/penis – whatever, that you know drives her crazy. I’m a neck person, a deep neck kiss at this juncture
truly drives me beyond!
This will really take her way beyond her sensational peak, and she will literally shoot that fluid across the room, exploding into orgasm. Great, you’ve done it! Time to stop? No! Don’t stop! This is repeatable. Until she really tires you can continue stimulating her (remember to vary your style) and you will continue to elicit this super-horny explosively orgasmic response.
This could easily go on for a half an hour! But if she needs a break, allow it. She’s put her trust in your hands. And you’ve taken her there.
For some variation, after a while, replace your fingers with your penis. Try emulating the movements you made with your finger. The feeling will be genuinely sensational. I guarantee it will be one of the erotic highlights of your life!
Further variation in this sensational technique can come from changing the positions in which you try it. Combining it with penis and finger simultaneous entry. You’ve got the basics, all you need to do is combine it with your imagination.
You’re not the regular selfish guy. You care for your partner and her pleasure. WOW! The techniques we’ve been through so far highlight her pleasure (some male pleasure stuff is coming up).
But believe me guys, the kickback from this is enormous. The massive pleasure that you will get from seeing an ecstatic, orgasmic partner before you, will give a real boost to your orgasms, pleasure and self-esteem. Don’t just take my word for it. Try it and see!
Taking the time to read, learn and apply these fantastic techniques show how you really care about the girl in your life. I hope you’ll soon be joining that small band of people, known as great lovers – you’ve definitely increased your chances dramatically! The lucky girl doesn’t know what she’s in for!
PREMATURE EJACULATION – AND HOW TO TRY TO STOP IT.
The primary cause of premature ejaculation is excessive stimulation through friction to the glans, below the head of the penis. This over sensitivity and lack of control leads to a man ejaculating early, causing disappointment for him and his partner (as you know, women take a lot longer, just to reach the “warm up” stage).
REDUCE THE FRICTION.
Thus to avoid it and get a longer time inside his partner before the man climaxes, a good option is to reduce the amount of friction, thereby reducing the amount of sensation to the head. To do this it is essential to reduce the amount of movement once inside. That’s boring! It doesn’t have to be! A good move is to gyrate the hips slowly and build up motion. Or try clockwise or anti-clockwise circle rotations using the penis.
The female is being stimulated. She’s happy as long as he’s in there and her necessary zones are being stimulated. Same for him. Both happy. Many men are in, bang, bang, bang. The circular motion could be seen as an element of style. On top of that, women love slow love. This is a great technique. Practiced properly the man can end up legendary in his longevity.
Yes! If you take your penis out a short while before you feel that you are going to come, withdraw your penis. A cool down period of one minute can lead to possibly 10-15 minutes extra lovemaking time. Girls, once they’re hot, don’t cool down so fast, while you cool for a minute she’ll still be hot. So you can maintain her mood (and temperature) meanwhile, using your fingers and tongue.
A foolproof method is to masturbate a while before you intend to make love.
The time depends on you. That is how soon you recover and be ready to go again. Ejaculation second time round usually takes longer and is less copious in the amount of fluid produced. Obviously if you do this too early then the problem may not be solved. Judge it by how long a gap you feel you need.
TRAINING THROUGH MASTURBATION.
Masturbate for fifteen minutes. lf you tend to come quickly, this will be far too long. When you feel you are about to ejaculate, go easy on the hand stimulation. Once you feel you’ve cooled down a bit, pick up the pace again. Never totally stop stimulation, just vary the intensity.
Practice makes perfect. And with practice of this technique your target should be to be able to continue self-stimulation at a fair pace with enough control to not have to stop, until the 15 minutes, or your target allowed time, is up. This technique can give you great mastery of control and is worth persisting with.
Premature ejaculation is a serious problem. But applying the above methods can lead to a very effective solution. Remember, women really do appreciate a longer, longer, longer lasting lover!
MULTIPLE ORGASMs IN MEN.
A great fallacy exists in sexual politics. Namely that a man, his orgasm and his ejaculation are one and the same thing. No. They are not. Scientific research, actually carried out in the eighties confirmed this. A man can have one without the other. The process needs control to separate the two, but is most definitely possible.
In layman’s terms, the process is dependent upon a muscle in the bladder.
Basically, the external muscle of the bladder. The one you use when you want to go to the bathroom (to urinate) but hold out because something interesting is on the TV! The principle is fundamentally the same. That is the muscle that you need exercise to build up your power of control.
To achieve multiple orgasm status, men have to be sexually experienced and obviously not suffering from premature ejaculation. If you aren’t up to it yet, read and apply the early chapters of this book until you’re a master!
For example: Step 1:
Contract and release. Contract and release. etc. etc. Repeat.
Perform 200 a day in batches of 20 spread throughout the day.
As above. But on each contraction, hold it 3 seconds, then release.
Even if you weren’t aiming to become a multiple orgasm guy the benefits from this exercise are tremendous. Toning this muscle and keeping it in good shape will help ejaculation control and your sex life in general, later in life. Regular exercise forces blood through the veins unblocking arteries, leading to longer erections, and good protection against disease and impotence. Don’t rush into the exercises, build them up gradually.
Once you feel you have better control, that the exercise has helped tone the muscle and its strength, it’s time for step 3. Once you achieve some kind of “muscle tone”, practice with masturbation. Take it to the verge of climax. Try to hold back and control it. Therefore developing control. Developing timing of control. Many times, early on, you will misjudge it and release. Don’t worry. It’s to be expected.
You’re target is to take it five times. (Yes five times! To the verge of orgasm and then contract and hold back). After the fifth time, reward yourself and release.
This really is the crucial stage. Don’t get to this until you’ve practiced as above for at least two weeks. Do as above, but go gently beyond the orgasm point but don’t ejaculate. Fluid will be released, But try to minimise it. Try to control it. Bringing tension to bear on the muscle can work for or against this. It may “wring” out the fluid, or it may help contain it.
If you are even when tensing, releasing fluid, gently pulling your testicles downward will stop it. As when you ejaculate, the testicles automatically rise. So, if you ejaculate slightly it doesn’t matter. You will lose some firmness but not enough not to able to continue. The idea is this. The first orgasm is so to speak, “dry”. The next one some fluid gets out. The next one you finally orgasm again and fully ejaculate.
After you’ve applied step 4 and had results which indicate that you’ve experienced something of the multiple sensation. Then try it on a girl.
Persist and you will succeed. Its a new process. A new way to approach an age old theme. A new re-conditioning of the body. Although we’ve talked about multiple orgasms in both sexes, remember, it’s a shared thing.
It’s not a “me” thing, or a “you” thing.
Don’t be selfish! It’s an “us” thing!