Southern Medical Terms

Benign……………………. What you be, after you be eight.
Artery……………………. The study of paintings.
Bacteria………………….. Back door to cafeteria.
Barium……………………. What doctors do when patients die.
Caesarean Section…………… A neighbourhood in Rome.
Catscan…………………… Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize…………………. Made eye contact with her.
Colic…………………….. A sheep dog.
Coma……………………… A punctuation mark.
D&C………………………. Where Washington is.
Dilate……………………. To live long.
Enema…………………….. Not a friend.
Fester……………………. Quicker than someone else.
Fibula……………………. A small lie.
G.I. Series……………….. World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail………………….. What you hang your coat on.
Impotent………………….. Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain………………… Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff……………… A Doctor’s cane.
Morbid……………………. A higher offer.
Nitrates………………….. Cheaper than day rates.
Node……………………… I knew it.
Outpatient………………… A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear…………………. A fatherhood test.
Pelvis……………………. Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative…………….. A letter carrier.
Recovery Room……………… Place to do upholstery.
Rectum……………………. Pretty near killed him.
Secretion…………………. Hiding something.
Seizure…………………… Roman emperor.
Tablet……………………. A small table.
Terminal Illness…………… Getting sick at the airport.
Tumour…………………….. One plus one more.
Urine…………………….. Opposite of you’re out.
Varicose………………….. Near by/close by

Written by theFerkel