Fatal things to say if your wife is pregnant…

“I finished the Oreo’s.”

“Not to imply anything, but I don’t think the kid weighs 40 pounds.”

“Y’know, looking at her, you’d never guess that Pamela Anderson had a baby..!!”

“I sure hope your thighs aren’t gonna stay that flabby forever!”Funny-Illustrations-Pregnancy-Struggles.jpg

“Well, couldn’t they induce labour ? The 25th is the Super Bowl.”

“Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that’s gotta hurt.”

“Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!”When-Is-It-Okay-To-Ask-A-Woman-If-Shes-Pregnant-680x324.jpg

“I’m jealous! Why can’t men experience the joy of childbirth?”

“Are your ankles supposed to look like that?”

“Get your *own* ice cream.”9cda75db66441b7666b57fb4dc62dee2.jpg

“Geez, you’re awfully puffy looking today.”

“Got milk ?”funny_tips_for_pregnant_women_640_03.jpg

“Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Joan.”

“Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!”

“Retaining water ? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water…”63421,xcitefun-funny-safe-baby-pregnancy-tips-9.jpg

“Your stomach sticks out almost as much as your ass!”

“You don’t have the guts to pull that trigger…”

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