1 -How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
2 -What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
5 – How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.
5 – Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care
6 – Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can’t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
7 – If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?
The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let it in.
8 – Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%…
It’s called a Wedding cake
9 – Got an e-mail today from a “bored housewife 33, looking for some action!” I’ve sent her my ironing, that’ll keep her busy.
10 – What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
After five years your job will still suck.