This is the biggest collection, of the world’s biggest lies ever told…

The check is in the mail.

I’ll respect you in the morning.

I’m from your government, and I am here to help you.

It’s only a cold sore.

You get this one, I’ll pay next time.

My wife doesn’t understand me.

Trust me, I’ll take care of everything.

Of course I love you.

I am getting a divorce.

Drinking? Why, no, Officer.

https_%2F%2Fs3.amazonaws.com%2Flowres.cartoonstock.com%2Fanimals-lies-liar-polygraph-polygraph_test-lie_test-mbcn3976_low.jpgI never inhaled.

It’s not the money, it’s the principle of the thing.

I never watch television except for PBS.

…but we can still be good friends.

She means nothing to me.

Don’t worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on “empty.”

http_%2F%2Fwww.kappit.com%2Fimg%2Fpics%2F201512_0625_cegeg_sm.jpgI gave at the office.

Don’t worry, he’s never bitten anyone.

I’ll call you later.

We’ll release the upgrade by the end of the year.

Read my lips: no new taxes.

I’ve never done anything like this before.

Now, I’m going to tell you the truth.

It’s supposed to make that noise.

I *love* your new _____!https_%2F%2Fd3ui957tjb5bqd.cloudfront.net%2Fuploads%2F2015%2F05%2Fdesigner-lies-9.jpg

…then take a left. You can’t miss it.

Yes, I did.

Don’t worry, it’s OK – I’m sterile.

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