If you’re feeling sad today!

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You hear the one about the three holes in the ground filled with water?
No?
Well, well, well.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.

Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard?
A barber.

What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.

How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
A frog says, ‘Ribbit, ribbit’ and a horny toad says, ‘Rub it, rub it.

I gave all my dead batteries away today.
Free of charge.

A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says, “Uno, dos…” and then *poof*. He disappeared without a tres!
What do you call a Mexican man leaving the hospital? Manuel

Did you hear about the Italian Chef that died?
He pasta way.

A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here?”

What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
José and Hose B.

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