There are a lot of sayings about idiots and stupidity. They are saying never to mess with one as they will beat you down with experience.
Or that stupidity has no boundaries – as opposed to intelligence. So the question arises: how do you spot the stupid ones? I made a list. It can be improved with your ideas (if you have any) and feel free to add to it so that we may better define them. Here, the examples are for a “he” but I invite the gentlemen to join in and tell me how can they spot a stupid woman.
Here are my proposals:
- A stupid guy is very suspicious. He feels that he might be stupid and he will worrry to no end that your only concern is to “make him”: to cheat on him, to spend his money, … a stupid man is afraid of being conned. He will ask you what you did with the money when you were the one paying for the rent and the utilities.. He will ask you why you came in late when you were busy paying bills and he will smile knowingly when you honestly tell him the truth. He “knows” better.
- The partner in a couple is for a stupid person his rival. He does not know that in a couple there should be no power struggles for dominance, no personal interests of one should shadow the other’s. He will try to be the winner in any situation, without knowing that by doing so he is slowly alienating his partner. “I” is first for a stupid guy, instead of “us”.
- An idiot is stingy with his love. He will weigh in the amount of love received to be able to tell how much he should give back. No extra ounce. He is afraid it will go to her head if she hears one extra “I love you”
- A stupid guy is misogynistic, he can’t handle the idea that a woman is smarter than he is and he will ridicule her every chance he gets. The official version is that he supports her and respects her but behind closed doors, he will win his arguments with “Oh, come on, leave me be you specialist in failure!”
- A dumb guy will call her “conceited” every time she shows she knows more than him.
- A dumb guy will avoid making decisions. One reason would be that he is afraid of failure. Failure is for a dumb guy the confirmation of his stupidity and he will be as afraid of taking decisions as a man in a room full of feminists (better comparison than a mouse from a cat 🙂 ). He will prefer others to take charge and take decisions so that he will have someone to blame if it does not turn out all right.
- An idiot is in a permanent competition with others (not with himself). He envies the ones that have a better job, earn more, have bigger and better cars or houses.
- Reproaches and critique belong to the daily repertoire of an idiot. He does not know how to congratulate, how to praise. The appreciation of others amplifies his inferiority complex. So, better not do it. Instead, for him it’s much easier to underline where and how others went wrong – this is one way for him to feel great (and vastly superior).
- An idiot is permanently unhappy of everything that surrounds him, including his partner. The paradox is that he does not change it.
- An idiot cannot be contradicted. He will never accept not being right or that his life experience is limited. You can’t have a normal debate with him because he will try to prove to you he knows better. When arguments are lacking, he will raise his voice and will tire out his partner until she gives in. This is how he proves to himself that he is smart and right and all-knowing.
- Do not talk to him about classical music or the theatre. This things go over his head and you will hear the word “snob”, “stuck-up” and “pretentious bitch” come your way.
- An idiot will always complain about the number of books in your house, that they are in his way, that they suffocate him. Of course, an idiot has no idea what books are for and he sees no other utility for their presence except an occasional door stopper or monitor lifter.
- An idiot is violent. If you don’t give him the acceptance and the submission he expects from you, he will turn to swear words, threats of beatings or worse, of death. If you continue to contradict him, he will go from words to acts and then tell you it’s your fault for provoking him, for not shutting up. In the end, he will tell you he loves you even though he gave you a black eye or two and a broken rib.
- For an idiot, a relationship is like an investment in a bank. It must be profitable. He does not know that in the economy of love, there doesn’t have to be a balance between supply and demand. That instead you are taking a risk in offering unlimited and unconditional love. You can get nothing in return or you can get more, exponentially more from what you have offered. But to the stupid one, risk is not to go unaccounted. He will keep track of his investments (financial and sentimental) and he will showcase them whenever the occasion asks for it.When you end things with an idiot, he will ask back all his presents to diminish the costs of a new relationship. You can say he knows how to recycle his affection.
- If there are only two ways to go about things (ie, we go on vacation or we don’t go on vacation), the idiot will be unhappy with both.
- An idiot cannot cook. In his mind, this lovely activity belongs to the weak, to the ones that must serve him. And then, if you are driven to spend an entire day in the kitchen preparing a gourmet 5 dish meal, do not expect any praise. Instead, he might throw back a question like this: “So what great thing did you do to make you cry you’re tired?”
- An idiot is afraid of change. He perfectly controls his environment in which he is familiar. To step out of the known boundaries, to face new stimulus, new people – they all put him in a possible position of failure. He will not want to go out, keep you indoors until all your friends forget about you.
- If she is smarter than him, a dumb guy is just an ex.
Now, if you feel that you are in a relationship where he is dumb or just plain abusing, step out and don’t let it become toxic to you.