Doctor Jokes * What a way to start the day!

“I can’t find a cause for your illness,” the doctor said. “Frankly, I think it’s due to drinking.” “In that case,” replied his patient, “I’ll come back when you are sober.”

wellness-comic-doctor

After 40 years as a gynaecologist, John decided he had enough money to retire and take up his real love, auto mechanics. He left his practice, enrolled in auto mechanics school, and studied hard. The day of the final exam came and John worried if he would be able to complete the test with the same proficiency as his younger classmates. Most of the students completed their exam in two hours. John, on the other hand, took the entire four hours allotted. The following day, John was delighted and surprised to see a score of 150% for his exam. John spoke to his professor after class.

“I never dreamed I could do this well on the exam. How did I earn a score of 150%?”

The professor replied, “I gave you 50% for perfectly disassembling the car engine. I awarded another 50% for perfectly reassembling the engine. I gave you an additional 50% for having done all of it through the muffler.”

cartoon-362

A patient awakened after a serious operation only to find herself in a room with all the blinds drawn. Why are all the blinds closed?” she asked her doctor. Well, the surgeon responded, “They’re fighting a huge fire across the street, and we didn’t want you to wake up and think the operation had failed.”

Bolinder

A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist’s office. The doctor asked,

“What can I do for you?” The man said, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?”

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, “There’s nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse,” and charged them $50.

This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.

Finally the doctor asked, “Just exactly what are you trying to find out?” The old man said, “We’re not trying to find out anything. She’s married and we can’t go to her house. I’m married and we can’t go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare.”

'Something for 'Wind'? I've got just the thing!'
‘Something for ‘Wind’? I’ve got just the thing!’

 

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