Bad Grandpa. Dirty Grandpa. Stop it already!

There seems to be an increase in movies where A-list celebrities go senile in their old-age and accept to do C-rated movies to get a few pennies in the bank. Adam Sandler does it every year. Meryl Streep played an ageing mother with a Rock Star twist in Ricki and the Flash.  Morgan Freeman did it too with that shitty “Last Vegas“. He and his friends were disgusting! Seeing them slobber all over young females made my stomach turn then and it does now.
LV-suits
Robert de Niro was in that one too… and he also decided to play in “Dirty Grandpa”. What the hell? Seriously? He was so good in The Intern, playing an ageing pensionner trying to go back into the business field to find out that the world had changed. He was even good in “Joy” as the paternal figure. He kinda sucked in “The Big Wedding” but it wasn’t as bad as this.

OK, let me tell you what “Dirty Grandpa” is about. An ex-military goes on a roadtrip with his young grandchild to bang young chicks when his wife dies. There is a wedding with the wrong person, finding true love on a road trip, re-setting life goals after falling in love and a lot of crudeness. This could have made a generic B movie and I would have been OK to rate it a generous 5/10 on IMDB. Instead, they went full out and I wish they had minus scores to give a movie (I settled with a one).

Zac Efron is playing the grandson. He’s quite funny in parts and he is absolutely ripped (which I don’t think goes with a person who studies LLC law). For that body he would have to be in a gym at least 5h on a daily basis). In comparison, De Niro looks fat. And old. Why would you accept a role that brings out the worst in you?
zac-efron-robert-de-niro-have-shirtless-contest-on-set-34

This was a party movie. A very long party movie. So pathetic they had to create conflict artificially and even that was bad. Basically the grandpa is trying to be the father he failed to be to his own son to his grandkid and literally destroys his life, getting him arrested and ruining his wedding day by inserting pictures from his trip on the beach. Think about this. If your grandkid is a successful lawyer about to get married, would you take him off course for him to follow his dream and take pictures of whales along with his hippie friends? Most parents strive for a great future for their kids and would not push them in that direction if it was bad for them.

zac-efron-shirtless-dirty-grandpa-1

The soon to be bride was so over the top it was hardly believable as a human being. Seriously, whoever wrote the script thought there would be an actual person who would ask during a funeral which tie they prefer: Salmon or Coral – both notoriously similar colors. I understand they are trying to make us think he married the bosses’ daughter to get a promotion in the law firm but she is so uni-dimensional that it makes it hard to figure out why they were together.

VI24l9cQEJSn58_1_hd

The other women in the movie are just eye candy with no substance. One of them is crude and vulgar to a point where I had to shut my eyes (I could not shut my ears) not to hear her any more. The other is a classic boho-hippie chick with no apparent future – * fearful voice – I’m graduating soon *.
885124_093That “college girl” he wants to fuck in this case is a character played by Aubrey Plaza, who reciprocates his advances by saying things like, “I want you to stick your shaft in me and ram your balls against my vagina,” which might be kind of hot coming from Plaza if it weren’t so uncomfortably revolting. All due respect to DeNiro, but no one wants to watch him pump his groin into Plaza’s ass, repeatedly stick his thumb up Zac Efron’s butt, or — I’m sorry if this is ageist — watch him stick his half-erect dick in Efron’s face, which is an actual thing that happens in Dirty Grandpa.

The word “Fuck” is used a lot. For its original meaning. There is some very explicit dancing going on in the club. This is a comedy and yet nobody in the cinema was laughing. I have seen Jackass’s Bad Grandpa and OMG, the room was in stitches. It was funny. It was crude, but it was funny. It was never appalling as this.
There is a lot of racism, homofobic attacks and there is a fake child-molestation scene involving Zac Efron….

I touched it, it was soft

robert-de-niro-stuck-his-thumb-up-zac-efrons-butt-today-32
I was cringing and I don’t think his career will ever recover from this. He will go back to Abercrombie and model.
Neighbors_Abercrombie

Stinky: [indicating Jason] Who’s the lesbian?
Dick Kelly: My grandson, Jason.
Stinky: Is he here to scissor with me?

I wish I were but I am not the only one:
‘Dirty Grandpa’ Review: The Worst Film Of Robert De Niro’s Career (Or Maybe Anybody’s)
Dirty Grandpa — A Comedy That Will Make You Uneasy
Robert DeNiro’s ‘Dirty Grandpa’ is a Soiled Diaper at the Bottom of a Dumpster Fire

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s