13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi or the true story of how 5 guys fought off an army

I should have known. I can usually tell if a movie has the lens flare, the kaboom and the massive bangs that usually identify Michael Bay. But I got sidetracked. There were no robots in this movie. It’s based on a real story and the dead count should have been Quentin Tarantino-style.
Now, I am really bad with names so I shall describe the movie using no names.

It’s the story of a hidden CIA base that all the locals know about and about 5 hard core soldiers living there waiting to go back home to their families. They are all the same, boots, muscles and beards. Manly men. They even carry a f*king tire in the background while our hero talks to the captain.
Their captain is crap. I mean really crap. Most of the movie, they ask him – are these friendlies (ie – should we open fire?) and he’s like .. no.. maybe.. I haven’t been informed. I don’t know. Whiny little bitch. At the end of the movie, when everyone was evacuated and heading towards the planes, he’s like “no,… I’ll stay here and fill in paperwork”. Nutcase.

So the Beards are in Benghazi, a place riddled with terrorists, another country America stuck their nose in and decided to make a democracy and created a civil warzone. This is in Lybia and the movie happens in 2012, so about 4 years ago. Recent history as they say it.
The Beards have fun in the sun in the enclosures of a rented house from a millionare. They meet the Mustaches and the Baldies to be told that a senator is coming next door (about a mile away). On September 11, 2012, the civil / rebels, start an attack on the Americans and target the house of the Senator. They burn the place down!
The Beards want to rescue them immediately but their crappy boss holds on to paperwork and procedure, thus costing a man his life.
The Beards give the middle finger to the boss (yey!) and go to rescue the guy. They cannot tell who is with them and who is against them. They retrieve a dead Baldie and cannot rescue the Senator. They retreat and then are under attack with every method under the sun.
The scenes are pure awesomeness!
The bad guys keep coming and our heroes keep valiantly fighting them off. They suffer losses but minor compared to what they do to the other camp.
They ask for help, no help comes. They get 5 new ass mercenaries (one of them threw a dead body off a roof – shocking).

If you are iffy about blood, don’t watch this movie. It’s graphic as hell! you see arteries spurting blood, people with limbs hanging off by a piece of skin, bone sticking out of an arm, people throwing up blood and the most disgusting parts – people getting shot down. Usually they show you clean deaths in movies. Bang! Bad guy falls down. Here …not so clean. Bang! The guy’s body gets severed in two. A chunk flies off. Blood splatters so much you can see it through the scope of a sniper’s gun.

Bad ending though. Drawn out to take the movie to the 2h mark and it shows the Lybians crying over their dead. And loads of children in the street when the Americans leave, as to say that the country has recovered their land now that the Americans are going. Seriously, if someone cries over their dead brother/father/son – why did they let him go out to fight and get killed? And who lets children on the street during the war?

A solid 8/10 so go watch it. For the gals:

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Written by theFerkel