A very good looking man walks into a singles bar, gets a drink and has a seat. During the course of the evening he tries to chat with every single woman who walks into the bar, with no luck. Suddenly a really ugly man, and I mean R-E-A-L-L-Y ugly man walks into the bar.
He sits at the bar, and within seconds he is surrounded by women. Very soon he walks out of the bar with the two of the most beautiful women you ever saw. Disheartened by all this, the good looking man asks the barman,
‘Excuse me, but that really ugly man just came in here and left with those two stunning women – what’s his secret? He’s as ugly as sin and I’m everything a girl could want but have not been able to connect all night – What’s going on?’
‘Well,’ Said the Barman, ‘I don’t know how he does it, but he does the same thing every night. He walks in, orders a drink, and just sits there licking his eyebrows..’
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says “Hold on a second here – you can’t bring that animal in here, they aren’t allowed!” So the man says, “But my gator here does a really cool trick…”
The bartender says “Well then, lets see!” So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch.
He looks around at the crowd and says, “Does anyone else want to try?” An old lady raises her hand and says…”Sure, but don’t hit me with that stick.”
There were these two guys in a bar, which was on the 20th floor of a building. The first man said
” I bet you $100 I can jump out that window and come straight back in!”
The second man says “Ok, sure.” and the barman holds the bet. The first man jumps out the window and disappears for a second before jumping straight back in. Disappointed about losing the $100, the second man says:
” I’ll bet you another $100 you can’t do it again.”
So the barman holds the bet. Sure enough, the first man jumps out the window, disappears for a second, then jumps straight back in. Thinking he must have caught a freak gust of wind, the second man says
“Ok, I bet you $300 I can jump out the window and come straight back in.”
The first man says” Ok, sure.”
The second man jumps out the window and falls to the footpath below. He is dead.
Back up in the bar, the barman says to the first man
” Gee, you can be a bastard when you’re pissed, Superman.”