My parents are pretty chilled when it comes to tradition and while we’re not Indian, in the Romanian culture it’s not unheard of arranging marriages among wealthy families.
“So your first daughter can marry my first son and then your second son can marry my second daughter”
This way, the two families will be united and the wealth and power will not drain to external sources. This is mostly practiced in little villages where the struggle to be the best in the village is high.
Back to my issue. Having reached the tender age of 30 recently (only last month), my parents have stopped being so discrete about my future and are asking me head-on whether they should take the steps to organize an arranged marriage for me. The fact that I’m single and successful does not matter.
I’m over 28, I am not settled down and with no plans to do so. So they want to marry me off with the son of a friend who is also 30, has a PhD and apparently is very handsome.
No way Hose! I know that my mom wants grandchildren she can fawn over but I need to get some things out of the way first: want to have at least 50k in the bank, a place of my own (I’m currently renting and while I like living in a shared house with friends, it’s not the same as having your own little nest), and then someone to truly love.
So I started asking myself. How is that person going to be? What’s the man I would like to settle down with like?
I started making a list and here’s what I came up with:
– must like reading and has read The Dark Tower or A Song of Ice and Fire (going through a series of novels shows dedication, ability to finish off a task once started, the patience to stick through something as it’s getting slightly worse)
– should know what “anime” is and not frown upon watching “cartoons” after the age of 10.
– should have a creative streak
– should be good with computers
– must know how to cook (I’m awful at cooking so that is a “must”)
That is pretty much my ideal man right here.
OK – here’s the dilemma. A few days back, I found this man. Or he found me. But he’s so annoying! He’s sending me poetry asking me to continue the poem… telling me about all the comic books I should read ’cause they’re awesome! Said he watched One Piece and Naruto more than once… and he’s 30-ish and balding.
I realized then that my ideal man was a geek. And while I imagined him like this:
… he’s more like this:
I’m trying to think of myself of not being a shallow person and giving people a go no matter how they look but then I thought – surely – after dating for a while, when the time comes to be intimate with someone (I’m thinking about kissing and nothing more)… will I be able to pull through? I could do a kiss on the cheek but that would be total friendzone.
I’m not desperate in getting married and being with a man just because my parents want me to. I can wait.
And this little voice in my head asks me “until when?…”