Famous and not so famous quotes

Oxygen in pure gen, Hydrogen is gen mixed with water; Those are the 2 major types of gen. – Thanks to Shannen { Big Island Hawaii }

~~~~~~~Smile, it confuses people
Richard Dreyfuss (I think) from Jaws……” We’re gonna need a bigger boat.” – Thanks to { J & A Edmunds } for this Quote

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Saturday Night Live’s Jack Handy——– If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, “God is crying.” And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, “Probably because of something you did.”

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Honk if you love peace and quiet.

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Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

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A day without sun shine is like, you know, night.

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You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

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Saturday Night Live’s Jack Handy——– I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.

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Saturday Night Live’s Jack Handy——– I hope that after I die, people will say of me: “That guy sure owed me a lot of money.”

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5 out of 4 people don’t understand fractions.

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suppose you were an idiot… And suppose you were a member of Congress, but I repeat myself. – Mark Twain

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Saturday Night Live’s Jack Handy——– I remember how my great-uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had whittled off the paint.

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Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?

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Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away, and you have their shoes too.

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Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.

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“The problem with the rat race is even if you win you’re still a rat.” – Lily Tomlin

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Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

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“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist– ” – General John Sedgwick, Union commander in the Civil War, speaking his last words as he was watching enemy troops during the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House.

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“Winston You Are Drunk” – Lady Astor “Yes my dear, but you are ugly, and in the morning I shall be sober” – Winston Churchill

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“640K of computer memory ought to be enough for anybody.” – Bill Gates, 1981

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Lady Astor: “If you were my husband, I’d poison your tea.” W.Churchill: “Madam, if I were your husband, I’d drink it!”

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“A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his client to plant vines.” – Frank Lloyd Wright

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“A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.” – Winston Churchill

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“A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.” – Robert Frost

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Saturday Night Live’s Jack Handy——– It’s easy to sit there and say you’d like to have more money. And I guess that’s what I like about it. It’s easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.

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“Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.” – Mark Twain

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The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten.

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It is better to keep your mouth shut, and look like a fool, than to open your mouth, and remove all doubt.

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Never try to leap a chasm in two jumps.

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“At the end of your rope? Tie and knot and SWIIIING!!”

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A closed mouth gathers no foot.

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Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

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Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

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You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

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Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

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The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

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There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

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Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

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“Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.” – some dead guy

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Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

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Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines

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Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.

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Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

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