Sigh, what a life. It’s interesting what I go through these days… and speaking of myself, I’ve also come to the conclusion that I’m a fairly selfish person. I’m not sure why… I try and make people happy, but maybe because that just makes me feel better to see someone smiling rather then frowning? Do selfish people often think of someone, and hope to be with them? or is that just human nature? That reminds me… in these past few days I’ve become deathly afraid of the feeling known as love.
Sure it might make me happy… but when I think deeper about it, I see something that just scares me deeply. I think it’s getting strongly attached to someone, but then having it lost sometime down the road… it would just seem… to painful. Again, another selfish thought, why do I do this? Hmm… I wish… I wish that I could just drop this, and be alone.
That way I could be selfish all to myself and affect noone else… It would be better that way… maybe I will… it’s easy just to disappear, when all you do is make people feel used and leave them angered… they wish me gone anyways.