My whole body trembles as I teeter on the edge of sanity.
My soul is burning. How can one live when you want to only get away from yourself? My insides crane and cramp as my intestines unravel. My hands are shaking like a heroine deprived addict.
And I am, but Love is my heroine. Trying to please, to do what is asked of me. Yet being kicked away, spit on and rejected, never good enough. Why do I tremble, why does my body quiver so? I feel as though I am watching life through a window. I feel distant and disconnected. Separated from the world.
I am unraveling, barely kept alive. Break in any moment, just need one button pushed, and I will break down, lose everything. I’m struggling to keep myself calm, ready to burst into tears at any moment. As absurd as I once thought it- considering how dead I feel, how much I want to feel real, alive.
I shake more and more as the seconds pass, how do I stay alive? When I try to stand, my body begins to fail me, a sudden weakness engulfs my limbs. Speak softly, quietly, do not disturb the rest of the world.
Distance yourself, revel how you feel, act like it, -Disconnected from the world.
My body still quivers and shakes. My face is emotionless and my movements silent and slow, do not reveal your weakness, don’t show that you are dead.
It is time to bite the bullet, accept your fate and die.
Stop your futile efforts, give up and eat the dirt.
I struggle to keep my eyes open, keep the darkness at bay. Close them and it enthralls me, tempts me with its silence
What quickly ends relationships? *musing*
I had a bit of an interesting run as a woman. I had the luck of being able to date in my 30s and had good and bad relationships, long and short ones with dudes that were awesome and dudes that had a ton of red flags. Here’s my top 5:
Posted on March 22, 2021 by theFerkel