This morning on the way to Wal*Mart, I looked over to my left and there was a Woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.
As a man, I don’t scare easily. But she scared me so much;
I dropped my electric shaver ,
Which knocked the donuts out of my other hand.
In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car
Using my knees against the steering wheel,
It knocked my cellphone away from my ear
Which fell into the coffee between my legs,
Splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins,
Ruined the darn phone,
Soaked my trousers,
And disconnected an important call.
Stupid women drivers