Cable Guy Wisdom


Cable Guy Wisdom1. A day  without sunshine is like night.
2. On  the other hand, you have different  fingers.
3. 42.7  percent of all statistics are made up on the  spot.
4. 99  percent of lawyers give the rest a bad  name.
5.  Remember, half the people you know are below  average.
6. He  who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7.  Depression is merely anger without  enthusiasm.
8. The  early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the  trap.
9.  Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people  have.
10. A  clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad  memory.
11.  Change is inevitable, except from vending  machines.
12. If  you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of  payments.
13. OK,  so what’s the speed of dark?
14. When  everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong  lane.
15. Hard  work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off  now.
16. How  much deeper would the ocean be without  sponges?
17.  Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet  engines.
20. What  happens if you get scared half to death,  twice?
21 Why  do psychics have to ask you your name?
22.  Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, ‘What the heck  happened?’
23. Just  remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall  off.
24.  Light travels faster than sound.  That’s why some people appear  bright until you hear them speak.
25. Life  isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What  you do today, might burn your butt  tomorrow.


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Written by theFerkel