Thank you NRA for giving women a choice. I know there are a lot of anti-firearms advocates out there but the proper use of guns (and I say proper) can save lives. Plus they are so cool.
I used to spend hours playing this game! I got real good too! I nearly thought I could become a motorbike racer when I grew up but whoops, I realized I was already grown up so no go!
For those who want to give it a go, you can download it for free from this link:
Graphics and fun stuff below: (PS – I actually did all the levels!)
There was an exam at the Police to elect a new lieutenant. So, they bring each of the interviewees and show them a profile picture of the suspect.
“What can you tell us about this man?” asks the commission.
The first cop responds:
“Well… he only has one ear.”
They throw him out and bring the next one in.
The second cop says: “I think he has bad hearing, ’cause he only has one ear”. He’s also thrown out.
The third cop says: “He wears contact lenses”.
The commission is baffled, review the facts and say that indeed, the man was wearing contacts. Asking him how he deducted this fact so marvellously, he replies:
“Well, he can’t be wearing glasses because he only has one ear!”
There was another exam at the Police and this time the examiner turns off the light in the room and asks all the cops gathered there to tell him where the light went. They start thinking really hard but they can’t come up with a solution so they asked the inspector to give them one more day to think it over. The inspector agrees and the second day, most of the cops still haven’t found a solution, all except one.
“I know where the light went”
“How did you find out?”
“I went home and repeated the experiment. I turned off the light and then went off looking for it throughout the house. I looked in the bedroom, in the bathroom, in the kitchen and when I opened the fridge I found it hidden there!”
A cop goes to the Guiness World Records and asks to be entered in the book of records.
“What record did you break?”
“I finished a puzzle. On the box it said between 3 and 6 years and I’ve finished it in just two!”
Two cops in a helicopter are looking at the spinning blade.
“Hey, what do you think that is?”
“I think it’s the air conditioner. Ever since it stopped spinning, the pilot is sweating like mad!”
From 100 cops, who pees the furthest?
The one with the fly open.
What does a cop say when he sees a banana peel on the street?
Dammit! I’m gonna break my leg again!
Why don’t cops wear shoes with laces?
They took an awfully long time to tie them.
Why do cops sit with their face pointing North?
So they have muscles growing on them.
How can you burn the ear of a cop?
You call him when he’s ironing his laundry.
How come he has both ears burned off the next day?
He had to call for a doctor.
Why do cops have an empty glass and a full glass of water on the nightstand?
If they wake up in the middle of the night, maybe they’re thirsty, maybe not.
What’s the difference between a cop and a tray of shit?
Why do two cops riding a motorcycle get into a fight for?
Because they can’t agree on who gets the window seat.
Why do traffic cops wear elbow length gloves?
So they know where to bend the arm.
The wife says, ’Now, dear, you know very well that you didn’t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you’re driving.’ And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, ’WHY DON’T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??’ The officer looks over at the woman and asks, ‘Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma’am?’
‘Only when he’s been drinking.’
One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book..
The peace and solitude are magnificent.
Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, ‘Good morning, Ma’am. What are you doing?’
‘Reading a book,’ she replies, (thinking, ‘Isn’t that obvious?’)
‘You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,’ he informs her.
‘I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading.’
‘Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment I’ll have to take you in and write you up.’
‘If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,’ says the woman.
‘But I haven’t even touched you,’ says the Game Warden.
‘That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.’
‘Have a nice day ma’am,’ and he left.
Never argue with a woman who reads.
It’s likely she can also think
Day 26 — I would break the law to save a loved one if…
I’d get a share of the cash. If my loved one decided to crack open a safe, rob a bank or even take one penny out of every internet transaction, I would want a cut and then we can both live like fugitives in the Maldives. I would be his gettaway driver, I would be his accomplice or even help on the money laundering process.
I was even joking to him that I would have loved to be a mobster wife. Your hubby coming back from a transaction with a sexy scar on his face, smelling of gunpowder! I would find it most appealing. I would be cool with anything as long as it’s not drugs. I’m not cool with drugs.
The other approach of answering the question would be when he’s not breaking the law and I would to save him. Hmmm, in what instances do you have to break the law to save an innocent person? I would say it’s actually helping the law to save them. I feel a scenario coming up. What if he’s been targeted by some really bad guys who want to kill him and the cops are corrupt or not doing their jobs. I would be breakin’ an’ entering the bad guy’s lot with a machine gun and get rid of the problem myself.
A guy was riding his Hyabusa at 95 on the M62, when he noticed a jam sandwich coming up behind him.
The patrol car flashed him and put on the blues.
The rider wound on the throttle and got up to 110, the copper was still there, he wound it up to 130, still the copper was there. he wound it up to 150, still the copper was there. To cut a long story short this went on until he was doing 195. By now the biker decided it was a fair cop and pulled over on to the hard shoulder.
The copper got out and said
“Look mate it’s five minutes to the end of my shift, I’m tired and I’ve already got a pile of paperwork give me one good reason why I shouldn’t book you.”
The biker replied
“To tell the truth my wife ran off with a copper last week and I thought you might be bringing her back.”
These are actual police officer quotes collected from numerous people stopped for moving traffic violations.
“If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”
“The handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.”
“So, you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?”
“The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?”
“No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.”
“Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”
“Life’s tough, it’s tougher if you’re stupid.”
“In God we trust, all others are suspects.”